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C.C. Hogan

Fantasy Recipe: Rough, Chunky Tavern Bread

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Chunky, chewy and gorgeous. And that is just the landlady!

This is to go with the Soup!

I hate bread. By that I mean, of course, that I love bread. What I hate is what, especially in the UK, we are told is what bread is meant to be like.

Well, it ain't meant to be like blotting paper, sorry! And it is not meant to be able to last weeks on end. Double Sorry!

In our fantasy tavern, we want bread that can double as bricks when it goes stale. We want bread so full of flavour that we will want to snog it. Our bread shakes the table when it lands on it, and makes our tummies feel loved and sleepy.

This is BREAD! With a capital B-R-E-A-D!

And it is piss easy to make.

The trick here is to take your time. Take your time kneading, take your time, letting it prove, take your time baking - you get the idea.


  • 500 grams very strong white flour
  • 50 grams rye flour
  • 50 grams oats
  • Big handful of mixed seeds
  • 1 tbsp dried herbs like Oregano - you can add more herbs if you like. Go for it!
  • 1 tbs dried yeast (or big thumb of fresh)
  • 200 ml warm water
  • 200 ml wheat beer
  • 1 tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 tbsp olive oil

Clear your table top, put on an apron, tie you hair back, roll your sleeves up and get ready to get messy! Once you get into this you can make a pile of it and fill the room!

Add the dried yeast and sugar to the warm water and let dissolve and froth up.

Put your flour, rye flour, oats, seeds, slat and herbs into a big bowl and mix up.

Make a well in the middle and pour in your yeasted water, your beer and the olive oil.

Uncooked breadWith your hand, mix it all together till you have a big lump of dough. Add a little more beer or flour if needed. You don't want it dry, but it should not be too sticky either.

Turn it our onto your table, get your hands floured up and get kneading for at least ten minutes. Put on some Stones or something to get in the mood. The dough should be smooth and just a little elastic.

Put it back in the bowl, cover with a cloth and let to rise till double in size. The speed will vary depending on the warmth of the room. If you are very patient, let it rise slowly over several hours.

Put a bit of oil on the counter, remove the dough from the bowl and give it a quick need for a minute or so - knocking back, it is called.

Now, leave it for ten minutes.

Make up a shape, or small rolls or whatever you like and let to prove, covered with a cloth, till double in size.

Bake in a hot over, 200 degrees Celsius, for between 15 mins for rolls to 30 minutes for a loaf. The load is ready when you tap it on the bottom and it sounds hollow. 

Remove and let it cool until you just cant wait any longer!


Please feel free to comment - no anger, no bad vibes, no trashing people. Just sit around, enjoy a flagon of beer and mull over the world. You can login with Disqus, Facebook, Twitter or Google.

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